esoterical

I had no idea how to be a person in my early twenties. I didn’t know exactly who my true self was since I was living for everyone but myself. I lived under the shadow of my parents who expected me to be successful at every single step I took. I also had no choice but to follow the rules and arbitrary bullshit of the military. Never in a million years would I have guessed that was to be my path after high school. Never.

Know this: the military is a place for waywards and lost souls, not for kids whose parents love them or have legitimate college prospects. Being forced to join the military at 18 after 17 years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse was a recipe for… something called my life. I hated my life at home growing up. There was never a space in time living with my parents that I felt safe or could let my guard down. Naturally the military had me acting the same way. I trusted no one, as everyone had their own agenda and looked out for themselves and no one else. Anyone who was actually in the military knows it’s a corporate hierarchical purgatory meant to beat you down until you obey. At least to the ones who don’t appreciate blindly following authority. Call me dramatic, call the previous paragraph hyperbolic to the American military, I do not care. That is my truth and I have a lot more truth to impart.

My life has been a nonstop transformative cycle of death and rebirth. Over and over again something inside me dies, replaced by new growth fertilized by past experiences of heartache. Just when I think I’ve found solid ground, life shatters for me once again, forcing me to reevaluate how I live, how I see the world. But that’s for another post I suppose. I just woke up with a fire inside and I wanted to throw the military under the bus. As it should be.

Any inquiries about the military experience can be sent to ephemeralds@proton.me as I’ll give it to you straight, the good the bad and the ugly.